I sit wide awake it's late at night perhaps early in the morning I couldn't look at the clock to tell. I'm not in my bed at this time as I should be instead I sit on the far side of my room talking over the phone to a friend in a hushed whisper. She's scared scared of the storm that's rolling in. I try to talk to her and calm her down but I seem to run out of thing to say which is odd for me. In the silence that follows I look out into my room it's completely dark not even the tiniest amount of light, it looks so different in the dark. I believe we all have a natural fear of the dark but that's not entirely true we don't fear the dark but what's in the dark the fact we can picture things in it that's what makes us afraid.
I was strange though now I can understand a fear of the dark but back when I was younger maybe 3 or 4 I vaguely remember on rare nights when sleep just didn't come I'd lay awake and look around me and see the house I'd been living in completely changed. In a shocked state I'd stand slowly and make not even the slightest of noises as I walk into the halls in a wondered state. I'd compare it to seeing snow for the first time but slightly different with snow you can feel it and eat it it's more real in that sense but walking in my house at that time nothing seemed the same or real it.
I started to run my hand along the wall feeling my way out of the hall to my family room, my feet are on the same carpeted floor as they always are, but I look and all that's in the room are two boxes of a darker shade of black, I didn't understand it then but those were nothing more than the coaches that I'd sit on and watch children's cartoons. But then I walked up to them put a hand onto the coach I'm tall enough to just turn and sit on it but I'm hesitate but curiosity takes the better of me and I sit on it. Now with my feet no longer on the ground it feels like I'm floating in the night I don't like the feeling it scares me and I fling myself from the coach and hug myself tight for a second making sure I'm all there.
I'm light footed now as I creep down the stair they creek but they always do this so it reassures me. The cool wooden panel floor touches my bare feet , it makes me feel more awake but they doesn't make me think this dark place is any more unreal as I go about still exploring. I no longer think this is my home anymore in my naive childish thoughts I think its a new place that's only my world. I may dislike the utter darkness of it all but it does well for my child self it's new and amazing to me, how I can not tell what anything is until I feel it.
a flash of lightening outside my window makes me go back to my my grown self now. I blink for a second as the light barely brightens my room the storm's come to my door step too it seems. I hear my friends voice but I don't reply after rexpereince my past in the dark I look around the lightening doesn't come constantly only in small spurs. So now I am yet again in this world of black but this time is different I'm not unfamiliar with this home as I was before I've lived in it for nearly thirteen years now I can find my way around it with my eyes closed. The sense of touch is for a more practical use in the dark now so I can't feel the world like I had before instead I use my eye or more correctly the lack their of sight. I can make out shapes and such as anyone could. My eyesight is very bad though as I have grown my eyes have gotten worse so I can't see the other wall to my room, it makes me feel like it goes on forever and ever like I could run and never find the end. It doesn't scare me it actually makes me want to try it but I'm very tired so I sit my back against the wall the rest of the room laid out in front of me.
lightening goes off again and I see the room in a very dim blue light it looks so wonderful coming in through the glass and bouncing off the shades. I stay still breathless as I wait for more lightening every time it comes it's from a different distance making the light change completely shadows being thrown across my room in different directions and shape changing too. I stay transfixed on the storm's light for a long while still in complete wonderment when the storm finally settles I look back on my room and see it painted in black yet again.
" Hey are you there?"
" Oh yeah sorry I zoned out." I apologize snapping out of my trance and talking to my friend again with more than a tiny bit of sadness at leaving the shadowy place.